Opinion Piece: Bacon Jelly Beans

Reid’s suggestion for posts was to do shorter opinion pieces. So here goes.

Context: Simon hates bacon. Ok. She doesn’t hate it all, but this is what she says:

I prefer bacon to be used in acceptable ways. You may eat bacon with your eggs, your pancakes, your hash browns, even your sausages, if you have considerable faith in your cholesterol levels. You may eat bacon in salads. You may eat bacon in sandwiches. There are many ways to consume bacon that are fully appropriate. And then there are methods by which the consumption of bacon is rendered inappropriate. You wouldn’t think of these on your own without some kind of diabolical intervention, so I will provide you with a list.

Read more about her thoughts (and her list) here. Basically she doesn’t believe bacon should be in cookies or candy or vodka or cupcakes or chocolate. I disagree. I may have forced my beliefs on her in the past…

So for my birthday she sent me a package which included among other things, a Mo’s Bacon Bar (mmm!) and

Opinion before eating: Bad idea. (Note: I don’t really like Jelly beans in the first place. And bacon without maple or brown sugar or chocolate is somewhat scary to me.)

Opinion after eating: Bad idea. If you would like to sample one or two or ten to disagree, please let me know. Even the people who have claimed to like them (aka Ben) have only eaten one. The guys in the lab refused more than one. Thus, Simon has likely won the bacon war.
So if you are wondering whether to buy bacon jelly beans or bacon dental floss for your loved ones for Christmas, I would advise the dental floss. (It smells like bacon, but tastes like nothing!)

August

Well, it’s the middle of August. I’ve gotten a handful of cherry tomatoes and harvested three full size tomatoes this morning, some of which went on my breakfast tomato sandwich, the first of the season. (Er…this was a week ago.) (Also, I was proud that my morning breakfast was 98% local food. All local except for about 1/4 teaspoon of sugar…) The beans are apparently not dead, but they’re starting to grow and I have some zucchinis coming soon.
Where, you might ask, have I been? Well, dear readers (all five of you – Mom, Reid, Erin, Simon, & Ivan- If there are more, please let yourself be known!), I have been on vacation and then sequestered in my office or in a corn field in Iowa. So I give you pictorial & literary proof of my travels.
I flew to visit my parents and brother in early July and embarked on a five state, two province, 2400 mile road trip with my mom to visit relatives & Simon.
Exhibit A: In which my mom and I crash (not literally) at Simon’s house and I get to meet Ivan and spread bacony joy. If you are confused, I am in fact Simon P. In most situations, I do not come prepared with bacon. Although I just discovered bacon chapstick exists, so that may change. Here, Simon and Ivan, of simonandivan.blogspot.com fame, attempt to chip off pieces of bacon caramel. (The image is blurred to protect Simon’s bacon-hating privacy)

Exhibit B: In which my mom and I go to Parliament Hill in Ottawa and at the Changing of the Guards, they play La Marseillaise (among other tunes) and not O Canada!
Exhibit C: In which mom and I go to Montreal,
Obviously this is me in Montreal. Can’t you see that everyone around me is speaking French?
eat bagels (with and without cheese),

and see the native Montreal people, who are apparently quite tall during the Just For Laughs Festival.

Part Two coming soon…